Before You

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We have all made mistakes in our lives with people we cross paths with and grow to care about. We aren’t perfect people in any way. With moments of joy among us, there will inevitably be moments of pain and fears to offset the euphoria. This blog is for everyone and anyone who has ever felt like they have failed or let someone down as a result of our own personal journeys and histories, and inspired by my own personal experiences. This is something I wrote when I was taking some downtime from my blog. Beyond my usual sarcastic humor in this blog, comes occasional cathartic reactions. As much as I try to make humor out of my experiences, I am also very deep.

It’s okay to make mistakes in life. That’s how we learn and grow into a better version of ourselves. If we didn’t fuck up from time to time, we would never learn any lessons and lessons are all a very crucial part of the journey. We are all searching for something real, and something honest. Albeit a person or a personal goal. But sometimes, in relaying our honesty, we reveal our insecurities. It’s okay. You have to roll over the speed bumps in order to continue towards the glide of the paved road ahead.

Before You…

Before this day there was another day just like it. The daylight illuminated my face casting shadows upon my puffy eyes. I laid awake in my bed replaying each moment that led me here to this day like so many more before it.

Before you there was another. And before them, another. And with each ending came new beginnings. New ways to fall, new ways to rise and new shadows cast upon my face from the morning light.

Before you there were questions unanswered. Abrupt departures from my life and unspoken flights. In between the momentous joy and benign hope were fears and doubts rooted deeply, before you.

Before this day there was a day when I had peace and comfort. A time when I didn’t question the details or relate them closely to an experience before you. But the rooted fears and doubts were stronger than the joy, and those were there before you.

Before you I had forgotten how to recognize a lesson. But in reflections after you, it’s all become so clear. Before you was a destiny that I didn’t understand. Before you, I had myself.

There will be another you, and maybe even another after you. Another opportunity and another reminder of hope. Because of you, and before you, I will never forget you.

Sometimes the first step to really achieving true confidence is coming to terms with your short-comings and owning them wholeheartedly in a way you can’t apologize for. You are uniquely and beautifully you and no matter what unbalanced connections you make in this life, there are connections that align completely. Wires get crossed with the wrong configurations and just like an electronic device, we can apply this same rationale to our lives and all the “connections” we come across. It could be within your friendships, family members or matters of love. Sometimes we are able to rewire to make things work, and other times the wires are rendered faulty. No matter what mistakes you’ve made with people, think of them as blessings and ambassadors to your true destination. And above all else, please take care.

xo

A

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