The world of women is fuming today about Juan Pablo. For those of you who don’t know, Juan Pablo is not in fact a Mexican drug lord, but this year’s said Prince Charming on the Bachelor. A single dad with a super-hot accent paired with a six pack body and a flawless smile, he, like every other Bachelor, captivated the hearts of many women. So why is everyone fuming? On the finale episode, instead of the final rose going hand in hand with a big fat diamond engagement ring, the winner, Nikki, instead got “I like you, a lot” accompanied with a very honest statement provoked by the winner’s father who told Juan Pablo “If you are going to propose to my daughter, be 100% sure” and so he didn’t, because Mr. Pablo was not in fact 100% sure about marriage, but was sure that he did “like her a lot” and didn’t want to let her go. And now the world is in rage.
This is the story of dating today folks. It’s a hard rush to the finish line and you can thank modern media for your unrealistic expectations. Shows like the Bachelor teach us that it is perfectly okay to date multiple women all at once but then when he chooses one, suddenly he’s an asshole for not choosing the others. Sure, maybe he made some less than desirable remarks along the way, but what person doesn’t from time to time? The truth is there are Juan Pablo’s everywhere and I know because I have dated a few of them.
A man a dated a few months back and I were really hitting it off. We had been dating 5 weeks and talking every single day, but in the process of dating me, he was also continuing to date multiple people. He told me “to me, the whole idea of dating is dating multiple people and getting to know many different personalities” Okay, sure, to some that might be okay, but let me ask… How are you supposed to get to truly know someone when you have multiple other personalities in the mix? How will you ever know if one of those people is right for you if you keep everyone else in the equation? As a customer, we expect service to be provided to us directly and personally in a timely manner, and so why do we not expect or give the same in regards to dating? What Juan Pablo did was weeded through the multiple personalities, and made a choice to focus on one, Nikki, and get to know her without the party of personalities parading around him. Why is this so horrible? Can you blame the guy? Okay, yes, he could have at least said “I love you” and it would have satisfied many people but what if the reality is that in order to genuinely fall in love, one must focus on just one person? Is that such a shocker? Nikki accepted it and accepted his final rose despite not getting the rock and fairy tale ending funded by ABC television. To me, that says a lot about her and her genuine feelings towards him. It also says a lot about him as a man making careful consideration of who he chooses to spend the rest of his life with, and doesn’t make decisions based on media expectations.
A friend on my Facebook wrote that the show was about picking someone and marrying them… but wait a minute… these people have only known each other a few months, so why is marriage such a pressing thing? Is that the new thing? Rushing to the alter when you don’t truly know a person? Slow.Your.Roll. What ever happened to slow and steady wins the race? Why is everyone in such a damn rush to get married and have babies? The answer: because the media tells us that is what we should be doing; that we should expect a fairy tale ending and start sending out our “save-the-dates” as soon as a man decides that he wants to date exclusively. Really? Get out of the clouds ladies, and into reality. That is essentially the expectation you project when his decision becomes the most hated talk of the internet today. Life is not a fairy tale.
We are falling victim to hype and learning by example that it is perfectly okay to be screwing multiple people, being taught and told that this is “okay” by new standards and at the same time, that we should expect a fairy tale life of boating in the Bahamas wearing oversized sunglasses and a Gucci sun visor whilst sipping a Belvedere cocktail. “If it happens on the Bachelor, then why not to me?” Because this is real life kiddies and the truth is that Juan Pablo is probably the realest bachelor to have played the game. Men like him are everywhere and it’s because of these types of shows that say it’s okay to treat people like they are a contestant in a charade like love game show that they will likely continue to exist. If this ending was in fact scripted, then I say good job ABC on bursting the bubble to the public eye on what dating is really like. The man got his cake and he’s eating it too, and you made it okay by being a Bachelor series fanatic.
A more realistic show would be called “Average Single” looking for “average” love and the contestants get gift certificates for Olive Garden and laser tag. I wonder how many women by media exploitation would be madly in love with the man they hardly know if a more realistic dating scene took place. That is more to the tune of real life.