Are Vancouver women too picky?

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According to Global news, and a survey reported by AYI.com, Vancouver women are the pickiest women in Canada with online dating, and overall male selection. We are the least likely to respond to online messages, or even physical advances when a brave man actually finds the balls to initiate conversation with us. In an interview conducted in a lower mainland shopping mall, several women were interviewed and asked what we look for in men, and the list was long but consistent of a few things…

Attractive
Good Job
Doesn’t live at home
Has a car

All but one response pointed towards things of a materialistic nature. One woman said “sense of humor” was important; otherwise she could not date them. What happened to the lists consisting of honesty, ambition, loyalty, common interests, someone who can make you laugh, who will hug you after a bad day and someone who is supportive of your aspirations? Are these key factors in finding a life mate secondary to a persons structured life?

That’s another thing; dating has become so structured now. This came up in a conversation with my mother over the weekend, dirty martinis present. She put it so simply and outlined how times have drastically changed with dating in modern days versus when she was my age. “Everything is so structured now; it’s like big brother. When I was young it was like ‘Hey man, let’s smoke a joint, and now lets go get lucky’” (gotta love that 70’s slang). It was apparently quite simple to meet and date someone 20 years ago. If you liked someone, you hooked up and you worried about the details as you went. 30 years later, this proved an effective dating mechanic for my parents who are still happily married whereas now in a more structured and selective generation, the chance of divorce is as likely as flipping a coin and it landing on tails.

So what is it about women in Vancouver that makes us so picky? Is it our overexposure to high fashion and the pressure to own a $60 pair of underwear from Holt Renfrew or is it simply the way we are being approached? Regardless of how or when a man approaches us, we should be respectful with our responses because clearly, we are being labeled as assholes.

Ladies… give the men some credit. It takes a lot to approach someone, whether you are male or female. Admitting to someone that you like them in this city is like walking through a mine field; be careful where you step or you might explode. Another thing I notice that we are bad for is the pressure of finding someone to take care of us. In this city, women are just as strong and capable as men as one gentlemen mentioned upon being interviewed. So, as strong and capable career women, why is there still such pressure to find a man who is better than us? We are setting ourselves up for failure with this logic. It’s not about finding the better man or woman, but rather about finding the person who makes you better.

In conclusion, I agree that Vancouver women are a picky bunch. We are spoiled with luxuries and a fast paced city life with modern day media adding pressure for us to find a prince charming that is unrealistic. Wanting someone who is on the same level as you is understandable, but wanting someone to ride in on a white horse and “rescue” you is unrealistic. With this being said, I don’t believe the bro’s are completely off the hook as I have learned through online dating specifically that they are just as picky as we can be, but I’ll save that for a later blog…

Check out the Global article and video reporting the findings here:

http://globalnews.ca/news/858361/vancouver-women-ranked-as-the-pickiest-daters-in-canada/

NEXT!

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My sex store experience

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People keep telling me that my life should be a sitcom, or perhaps it’s just the witty and light hearted way I explain the details of what happens in my day to day life. When I got my part time summer job at an adult novelty store, I had many experiences that some people would deem uncomfortable, but this is life people, and you have to laugh at it even if it gets weird and awkward.

As you can imagine, selling dildos and renting porn flicks to men and women probably comes with it’s fair share of creeps, unheard of fantasies, and of course plenty of laughs if you have an open mind. Since the store closed suddenly about six weeks ago, I get to finally share the horny, err I mean gory details with you.

Firstly, picking pornographic films is a very meticulous process. You can’t just beat off to anything is what I’ve learned by observation. Some would gaze upon the collections for up to two hours before finally selecting “Milfs and Cookies” for their midnight rendezvous with their right hand. Porn has come a long way since the classics known for its cheesy saxophone music and over use of hairspray and teased hair. Pirates of the Caribbean was one of the first actual Hollywood blockbusters to be sexualized and remade into an erotic film. There is even an Entourage parody made into porn. This obviously makes selection just as hard as finding a wife.

Secondly and most notable is the couples who come in. You never know what they are going to buy which proves you really can’t judge a book by its cover. One couple came in, a big burly biker type man and his adorable tiny European wife. I assumed they would be getting some standard toys so when the woman came to the till with a pink strap on, and her husband so obviously steering clear of the transaction to avoid shame, I was quite surprised. All I could think was not only is this guy getting nailed tonight, but it’s happening with a pink dildo by this sweet and innocent looking European lady! Never assume anything about a person, they will surprise you every time. And for the record, I think it’s great that people have relationships where they feel that comfortable with each other to explore new options. To each their own, right?

The job came (no pun intended) with its awkward moments. On one occasion, an older Arab man was looking at pocket pussies. Basically, it’s a fake hand held vagina used for self pleasure. He wanted to know what it felt like, so I opened the package for him. He touched the outside a bit, squeezed to check for elasticity but it got really weird when he stuck his fingers inside. That’s my life folks, it’s full of weird and awkward moments. Another time a man kept calling the store to chat with me, asking me what my favorite porn genre was, then asking me out to which I politely declined and then immediately after, asking me if we had any men’s mesh briefs. This happened three times before he got the hint.

All in all it was an experience to laugh about and learn from. It’s like a peek into the secret lives of people that you never knew existed. We all have to have an element of secrecy to our lives that excites us. For some people it’s sneaking the chocolate you have hidden when your kids go to sleep, and for others it’s an electrocuting paddle for bondage. Whatever floats your boat, and yes people, the product actually exists and sells!

So now I’m onto bigger and better things, working part time as a sales associate for a fine jeweler. I’m still selling love, it’s just a different kind of love now (ha ha). From dildos to diamonds – sounds like a James Bond movie right?

Anyways

Next!!

Single Closets

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It’s no question that we are all creatures of habit but as a single person, and when I say single, I mean you have truly formed an independent routine, cleaning out our closets becomes a challenge. This past summer, I ditched online dating to become acquainted with the world around me, and during this time, I realized how set in my merry little ways I truly am. Perhaps I might be the happiest I have been in a long time, but sometimes I question how my strong force of mind and living routines is affecting the perception of an interested outside party.

When I moved into my apartment last summer, I did a major life cleanse and got rid of a ton of things. I literally cleaned my life of clutter not only in my own head, but in my home as well. Over the past 15 months, slowly I have closed the gap by becoming set in my own ways once again but not without realizing what I am doing. The truth is we all do this and most of us don’t even realize the impact it has on the way and outsider looks at the way we live our lives. Another little tid-bit about me, that not many people know is that for the past three and a half years, I have been co-hosting a Youtube channel with my good friend Susan McCord discussing topics just like this. I may not be a relationship expert, but I am more aware than the average person of the things that contribute to the formula of dating disaster. This is one of those topics.

When a person becomes set in their own ways, and lost in a dead end cycle of hanging on to things that disable our progress to something truly meaningful, we start to miss opportunities that we may never get back. If you have clutter, whether that clutter is literally actual clutter, a person wrong for us, or a schedule that completely floods all time slots, how do you expect to ever have room for that one person who is right for you? You have to make room.

Perhaps the longer we are single, the harder it becomes to break routine and to make space. It could be due to fear or just due to plain old stubborn habits that we form over time. If you really give a shit about yourself and are serious about wanting someone in your life, you have to step outside your comfort zone and let go of those little things that are just fillers for your single life. This isn’t to say that you should stop being you. We all need our outlets to keep true to the people we are at heart but some tasks and clutter is tedious and you might find that if you make room for the unknown, something really great might fill that space. You will never know until you clean house, both in the literal and figurative forms.

Check out our video and allow me to properly introduce you to my wonderful host, Susan McCord. A few years ago, I was writing for an website called Examiner as the twenty-something relationship examiner for Vancouver. I received an email from a fellow writer who invited me to join her as a co-host. Nearly one million views to her channel and many years later, this woman has become a positive force in my life and has offered me personally plenty of useful advice for my own life. I love you Susan, and thank you for inviting me to be a part of Leave it two beavers 🙂