Ever since I started my new gig at an adult novelty store, or as my mother likes to call it, ” the dildo shop”, I have observed and taken in more information than I ever knew I could possess about the ever so taboo subject of sex.
Pretty much a typical shift consists of me placing bets in my own mind of what I think a person or couple is looking for. I am surprised nearly every time. It’s not just strangers who have left me guessing, but even people I have known for years have confided their secret fetishes to me and its a topic that has been racing in my mind ever since I started my employment and got exposed to the reality of the secrecy of intimacy that surrounds us.
This brings me to my main topic of interest; the sex life of a single person. Suppose someone has been single for many many years but hasn’t dated anyone seriously. You have to wonder, where and how are they satisfying their needs? I say needs because let’s face it, the majority of society does not practice abstinence. In fact were more animalistic than ever now, is that true or have I just been around too many porno films lately?
A couple weeks ago, in the middle of the hottest heatwave of the year in Vancouver, I had a great talk with my go-to-guru Spidey on his basement floor, which was the only room that didn’t make us feel we were being asphyxiated by the suns wrath. As we sipped our afternoon cocktails, we dissected the scenarios carefully.
The FWB (Friend with benefits):
You’re single, you get drunk with a friend and end up having sex. Classic. You decide this was a genius idea and propose the idea of combining the friendship with sex. This relationship can also be achieved with a direct approach in asking for permission of holding the status of FWB before any sex actually happens. Proceed with caution because it gets weird fast in most cases.
Many people have someone who is a consistent in-between-relationship bed mate. It’s sort of like a FWB situation only it feels like a rental date more than a buddy you occasionally have sex with for a designated period of time. The layover is not a one time thing but rather is someone you are with consistently between several failed relationships.
Brief courtships turned strictly business:
As singles, dates happen. Sometimes a brief courtship that just wasn’t a great fit can turn into a recurring fling. “It wasn’t the right timing, but the sex was great, so why not?”
For those who prefer zero expectation of repeat performances, this is a one stop, gross and illegal shop.
One night stands:
Also classic. A drunk night at a bar, meet a random and hookup for one night only. Sadly this temporary escape becomes habit forming and requires very little effort, but nevertheless, it’s a way to tie you over until you meet someone who is actually worth keeping around.
Masturbation and/or pornography. Several times a week. Enough said.
Did I miss anything?
Seemingly, no one talks about this openly. It’s completely taboo, especially as we get older, but rest assured that the vast majority of singles are taking up at least one of these methods to keep sane. We are only human. You have to wonder though, which singles are practicing which method? In hindsight, we are always looking for something, whether it be a temporary escape from our single lives or something lasting and meaningful and something we can build a future upon. The vault of secrecy has been unlocked and the combination is complicated.
How do you tie yourself over between relationships?